The Retail Orientation Video Test

1. Most of you I'm sure at some point passed through the rite of death and resurrection known as the (insert company name) Orientation Video! The purpose of this test is simple: to use an arbitrarily assigned variable to determine which stock orientation video character represents your personality the best. Let me say, and good God I cannot stress this enough, this test is written from the viewpoint that orientation videos spring like black endless ooze from the claws of Lucifer with the express purpose of burning through your mortal soul like quicklime...alright, thats too far. What I am trying to say here is: there aren't really very positive results from this test. I've managed to rein myself in considerably, but you will be on the receiving end of some abuse. Just be prepared. Enjoy!

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