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<p><em>Your result for The Petty Crime Test...</em></p><h4>Ace Ventura</h4><p>You put away 5/5 petty criminals.  You also scored 18 Petty Theft and 0 Petty Crime</p><div>Excellent work, you're clearly a hardened pet detective and have more than what it takes to survive the world of <i><b>petty crime</b></i><br /><br />

Each of your choices in this quiz had an effect on the suspects in the crime.  Read below to find out the correct answer for each question, and what happened to the participants afterwards.  Also, feel free to ignore the 'Petty Theft' and 'Petty Crime' variables, as they're just used to bring you the results below.<br /><br />

<script>

	//Yes, this is a long and ugly function
	function CalculateCustomResults(){
		//Get the results of the Petty Theft and Petty Crime categories.
		myregexp = new RegExp("(\\d{1,5})\\ Petty\\ Theft .* (\\d{1,5})\\ Petty\\ Crime")
		mymatch = myregexp.exec(document.getElementById('scorepage').innerHTML)
		//alert(mymatch[1] + " " + mymatch[2])
		//Extract the question answers from the results
		var ptheft = mymatch[1]
		var pcrime = mymatch[2]
		var bQ1Yes, bQ2Randy, bQ3Deer, bQ4Nietzsche, bQ5Geoff, bQ5Clifford, bQ6Dead, bQ6Alive
		var sQ1Result, sQ2Result, sQ3Result, sQ4Result, sQ5Result, sQ6Result
		//Check whether the yes option was chosen for Q1
		bQ1Yes = (ptheft & 1) > 0
		if(bQ1Yes){
			//Display results for yes on Q1
			sQ1Result = "Joe didn't eat the goldfish, you have falsely convicted an innocent cat!<br /><br />"
			+ "<img src='http://is3.okcupid.com/users/170/754/17175500550887603171/mt1157888537.jpg' /> <br /><br />"
			+ "Bob decides that theres only one way to prevent the remainder of his goldfish collection from being devoured by the ravenous Joe - he must lock him up.  Joe remains under lock and key for several months, until the rest of the goldfish die of natural causes."
		
		}else{
			//Display results for no on Q1
			sQ1Result = "Joe didn't eat the goldfish.  You correctly deemed him innocent.<br /><br />"
			+ "<img src='http://is2.okcupid.com/users/170/754/17175500550887603171/mt1157908259.jpg' /> <br /><br />"
			+ "Joe simply doesn't have it in him to harm any of nature's creatures.  In fact he has a great and abiding respect for the humble and simple life for the goldfish, and will spend hours merely watching them.<br /><br />"
			+ "The missing goldfish will go down as one of the great unsolved mysteries of our time."
		}
		document.getElementById('q1Results').innerHTML += sQ1Result
		
		//Check whether Randy Savage was chosen in Q2
		bQ2Randy = (ptheft & 2) > 0
		if(bQ2Randy){
			//Display results for Randy Savage on Q2
			sQ2Result = "'Macho Man' Randy Savage was indeed responsible for the kidnapping, nice catch! <br /><br />"
			+ "<img src='http://is2.okcupid.com/users/170/754/17175500550887603171/mt1157908543.jpg' /> <br /><br />"
			+ "Hogan flies into a rage and challenges Savage to a match yelling 'Whatcha gonna do brother, when HULKAMANIA DESTROYS YOU!'<br /><br />"
			+ "The match begins the next day.  Hulk storms into the arena to the rockin sound of his hit single 'The Hulksters in the House'.  Randy strides into the ring to the sound of his poorly received track 'Be a Man'; hes sadly still trying to pimp his dismal album.  The match begins. <br /><br />"
			+ "Hogan is blinded by rage, and attacks carelessly.  He at first appears to have the advantage, but the aging wrestler isnt as fast as he used to be, and Savage manages to pull off his world famous 'Savage Elbow', and quickly pins our All American hero.   <br /><br />"
			+ "But wait, what's that?  Out of no where its Hulkamaniac! Freshly escaped and out for Hulkvenge.  Defying the laws of physics, Hulkamaniac picks up a massive steel chair and knocks Randy off of Hogan!  Randy is out cold, and Hogan easily pins him and wins the match. <br /><br />"
			+ "The crowd goes wild, and the Hulkster and his canine buddy rock out to their favourite track 'I Wanna be a Hulkamaniac'.  Meanwhile, in the shadows Vince McMahon slinks off, his plans to destroy Hulkamania having failed once more."

		}else{
			//Display results for Vince McMahon on Q2
			sQ2Result = "Unfortunately it was 'Macho Man' Randy Savage that kidnapped Hulkamaniac.  You've accused the wrong man!<br /><br />"
			+ "<img src='http://is2.okcupid.com/users/170/754/17175500550887603171/mt1157888478.jpg' /> <br /><br />"
			+ "Hogan flies into a rage and charges off to confront Vince.  He finds him lurking ringside, grabs him and pulls him into the ring.<br /><br />"
			+ "Vince is defenseless against The Hulkster's maddened rage, and is quickly taken down.  Hulk finishes the match with a jump from the rope pole, slamming his boot into McMahon's head.<br /><br />"
			+ "This is just the excuse Vince needed to end Hulkamania forever.  During the following weeks he runs a massive smear campaign against the Hulk, claiming that he attacked him without cause and that he should be banned from wrestling forever.  His career in tatters, Hulkmeister hangs up his wrestling boots and leaves the wrestling arena forever. <br /><br />"
			+ "Hulkamaniac eventually escapes from Savage and returns to Hulk, his sole remaining comfort in his twilight years.<br /><br />"
		}
		document.getElementById('q2Results').innerHTML += sQ2Result

		//Check whether the deer was chosen in Q3
		bQ3Deer = (ptheft & 4) > 0
		if(bQ3Deer){
			//Display results for random deer on Q3
			sQ3Result = "The Pope was responsible for the desecration of the holy woods.  Unfortunately, the random deer stands falsely accused.<br /><br />"
			+ "Upon being accused, the Deer was swiftly executed for its most blasphemous crime.  Oh wait, this is Catholicism.  The deer was ordered to say 132 Hail Maries and to ask God to forgive its trespass.  It was then freed and allowed to go about its business.<br /><br />"
			+ "The Pope, relieved at not being blamed for his defilement ordered 50 extra woodland toilets to be built, in an effort to prevent such blasphemy from occurring again."
		
		}else{
			//Display results for the Pope on Q3
			sQ3Result = "The Pope was responsible for the desecration of the holy woods, you chose... wisely<br /><br />"
			+ "It seems his excellence The Pope wasn't able to make it in time, and instead opted to defile the ground with his most holy excrement.<br /><br />"
			+ "In a surprise decision, The Pope declared his own excrement the 'Log of Truth', beseeching any who would judge him to first remove the log from their own eye.  No one really paid attention and just left him to his own devices.<br /><br />"
			+ "The deer was freed and went on to live a happy, full life."		
		}
		document.getElementById('q3Results').innerHTML += sQ3Result

		//Check whether Nietzsche was chosen in Q4
		bQ4Nietzsche = (ptheft & 8) > 0
		if(bQ4Nietzsche){
			//Display results for Nietzsche on Q4
			sQ4Result = "The Nihilists were responsible for the death of God.  Nietzsche is falsely accused<br /><br />"
			+ "Upon being accused, Nietzsche vehemently denied the charges.  When it became clear that he was going to be arrested anyway, he tore off his suit revealing a blue, red and yellow skin tight costume underneath and flew off, never to be seen again.  Who knew that DC Comics had it right all along?"
		}else{
			//Display results for Nihilists on Q4
			sQ4Result = "The Nihilists were responsible for the death of God.  Excellent detective work.<br /><br />"
			+ "The Nihilists, not believing in the forces of law and order, simply walk past the police officers sent to arrest them.  They receive a shock when they're suddenly tackled to the ground, cuffed and hauled off to jail."
		}
		document.getElementById('q4Results').innerHTML += sQ4Result

		
		//Check whether Geoff was chosen in Q5
		bQ5Geoff = (ptheft & 16) > 0
		
		//Check whether Clifford was chosen in Q5
		bQ5Clifford = (ptheft & 32) > 0
		
		if(bQ5Geoff){
			//Display results for Geoff on Q5
			sQ5Result = "Bingo! You really got the cake in the hole with that choice.  As punishment for stealing mother's prized cake, Geoff was subsequently banned from his computer for a month.<br /><br />"
			+ "During this time he developed a crack habit to dull the pain of being away from World of Warcraft.  Thanks to the crack he managed to lose most of his excess weight, and after his month of banishment returned to World of Warcraft a new, more crack addicted, less fat kid. He dropped the crack addiction a few days later.<br /><br />"
			+ "The dogs remained blissfully unaware of the theft and lived happy, full lives."		
		}else if(bQ5Clifford){
			//Display results for Clifford on Q5
			sQ5Result = "The fat son Geoff was responsible for the theft, not poor innocent clifford!<br /><br />"
			+ "Upon being falsely accused of stealing the cake, Clifford merely looked dumbly at mother and performed a double backflip.  Mother was immediately charmed by his antics and lets him off with a warning.<br /><br />"
			+ "Realising that crime is chocolately and delicious, Geoff continued his crime spree. Cupcakes, carrot cakes, fruit cakes, black forests - nothing was safe from his all devouring hunger.  Finally, one day he got too greedy and went for mother's prize cake - Triple Chocolate Mud.  As he lifted the cake from its sacred pedestal, an alarm sounded and mother charged into room, catching him red handed.  Geoff was immediately shipped off to fat camp, proving once again that crime doesn't pay.  Stay in school kids!<br /><br />"
			+ "Woof remained asleep throughout the incident."
		}else{
			//Display results for Woof on Q5
			sQ5Result = "The fat son Geoff was responsible for the theft, not poor lazy woof!<br /><br />"
			+ "Upon being falsely accused of stealing the cake, Woof proceeded to remain asleep.  Realising that there is no way that Woof could have possible stolen the cake due to his extreme laziness and rotund figure, mother fires you for ineptness.<br /><br />"
			+ "Realising that crime is chocolately and delicious, Geoff continued his crime spree. Cupcakes, carrot cakes, fruit cakes, black forests - nothing was safe from his all devouring hunger.  Finally, one day he got too greedy and went for mother's prize cake - Triple Chocolate Mud.  As he lifted the cake from its sacred pedestal, an alarm sounded and mother charged into room, catching him red handed.  Geoff was immediately shipped off to fat camp, proving once again that crime doesn't pay.  Stay in school kids!"

		}
		document.getElementById('q5Results').innerHTML += sQ5Result
		
		//Check which option was chosen in Q6
		bQ6Dead = (ptheft & 64) > 0
		bQ6Alive = (pcrime & 1) > 0
		
		if(bQ6Dead || bQ6Alive){
			//Display random dead/alive result on Q6
			var bAlive = (Math.floor(Math.random()*2) == 1)
			if(bAlive && bQ6Alive){
				sQ6Result = "You open the box - the cat is alive.  Excellent guess!  It seems by the act of observation, you've brought Schrodinger's cat back from the brink of death."	
			}if(bAlive && bQ6Dead){
				sQ6Result = "You open the box - the cat is alive.  You guessed incorrectly, but at least the cat is alive!  It seems by the act of observation, you've brought Schrodinger's cat back from the brink of death."	
			}if(!bAlive && bQ6Dead){
					sQ6Result = "You open the box - that cat is dead, you guessed correctly.  It seems that by the act of observation, youve killed Schrodinger's cat."
			}if(!bAlive && bQ6Alive){
					sQ6Result = "You open the box - that cat is dead, unfortunately you guessed incorrectly.  It seems that by the act of observation, youve killed Schrodinger's cat."
			}		
		}else{
			//Display refuse to answer result on Q6
			sQ6Result = "You refuse to answer the question, hoping to keep the cat indefinitely in limbo.  What you didn't realize was that while in the box, that cat is half dead/half alive.  After a prolonged period of time, Schrodinger's cat bursts forth from the box, now a zombie cat and eats your brains.<br /><br />"
			+"Take that fence sitter!"
		}
		document.getElementById('q6Results').innerHTML += sQ6Result

		
		
		
		
	}
</script>

<div id="q1Results">
	<b>Question 1 Results - Case of the missing goldfish<br/></b>
</div><br><br>
<div id="q2Results">
	<b>Question 2 Results - The world just lost another Hulkamaniac<br/></b>
</div><br><br>
<div id="q3Results">
	<b>Question 3 Results - Did the Pope shit in the woods?<br/></b>
</div><br><br>
<div id="q4Results">
	<b>Question 4 Results - Did Nietzsche kill God?<br/></b>
</div><br><br>
<div id="q5Results">
	<b>Question 5 Results - Cake missing, presumed eaten<br/></b>
</div><br><br>
<div id="q6Results">
	<b>Question 6 Results - Is Schrodinger's Cat dead or alive?<br/></b>
</div>
<script>
	CalculateCustomResults()
</script></div><p><a href="http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-petty-crime-test">Take The Petty Crime Test</a> at <a href="http://www.helloquizzy.com/">HelloQuizzy</a></p>

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Your result for The Petty Crime Test ...

Ace Ventura

You put away 5/5 petty criminals. You also scored 18 Petty Theft and 0 Petty Crime

Excellent work, you're clearly a hardened pet detective and have more than what it takes to survive the world of petty crime

Each of your choices in this quiz had an effect on the suspects in the crime. Read below to find out the correct answer for each question, and what happened to the participants afterwards. Also, feel free to ignore the 'Petty Theft' and 'Petty Crime' variables, as they're just used to bring you the results below.

Question 1 Results - Case of the missing goldfish

Question 2 Results - The world just lost another Hulkamaniac

Question 3 Results - Did the Pope shit in the woods?

Question 4 Results - Did Nietzsche kill God?

Question 5 Results - Cake missing, presumed eaten

Question 6 Results - Is Schrodinger's Cat dead or alive?

Their Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

They scored 5% on Justness, higher than 98% of your peers.
They scored 18% on Petty Theft, higher than 22% of your peers.
They scored 0% on Petty Crime, higher than 39% of your peers.

All Possible Results

All Washed Up Ace Ventura

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